this is your reason to stay.

the token tumor

Wed, 30 Jan 2013 19:18:06 -0500

are you dazzled or depressed

at the view through your

same-as-yesterday window?

my heart is frenzied & sad

at the same-as-tomorrow’s intentions

that keep measuring me lacking

in comparison to my expectation:

to get better without changing.

is it foolish and fanatical

to want more from exactly the same thing?

or is it genius and generationally good-mannered

to say, “have hope,” “things will get better,” “it will turn out alright,”

“YOU WILL REACH THE AMERICAN DREAM” ?

this tragic trajectory of too-many-times taken

paths of least resistance

explains the token tumor

in the abdomen of our culture.

it’s not something you’ve swallowed

and you’re certainly not ready for pills

is it something you can pray about?

#admittingtoignorance

no, reduce the problem into an equation:

what is the least common denominator

between 1, 7, & 9?

1 being your expectation

7 being your stubbornness

9 being your pride

for those of you wondering,

the answer is 63.

so nobody’s going home with less than 63 hours of practice

at whatever it is you wish you were doing or changing

so that the view out your window doesn’t look the same.

besides, studies show that in order to create the muscle memory

necessary to subconsciously complete a physical task,

10,000 repetitions are necessary

and that has nothing to do with the number 63.

are you silent about your lack of consent

as the mistress of mediocrity

steals your love?

the great danton

Tue, 30 Oct 2012 21:13:00 -0400

the great danton

last night you cooked in my kitchen in the dark.

Sat, 08 Sep 2012 17:36:28 -0400

you said the lights were making the air too hot

so you hoped new and cooler light would sift in from the next room.

I watched you struggle to trust yourself whisking crepe batter

as you asked me to add the flour.

you thought you were a failure

as I thought you to be beautiful

so you make the crepes

of course they can’t be perfect

you’re a little bit angry

so I try to tell you everything takes practice

that it’s been three years since you tried this last

that I know you had a French friend

but you don’t love him any less

when your crepes don’t turn out right

that when your crepes don’t turn out right

we don’t love you less

we love you more.

I’m giving you a reason to stay

Sat, 08 Sep 2012 17:34:54 -0400

and it is this:

we love you.

you’re leaving & just like anybody

you need somebody to say

please stay

I know you never had any reason to be here

but we’ve created one

and though you’ve found a reason to leave

this place has grown a place for you in its heart

and it has to do with heartbeats

and it has to do with loyalty

and its simple & true

never make the mistake of thinking you can leave a place invisibly

you have lived and existed and it has mattered.

we are different because of you,

you have stitched a thread of importance through us.

I know that you might think you are small.

sometimes it doesn’t make sense

but give up believing you’re not important enough

for people to beg you to stay.

4.3.2012

Sat, 02 Jun 2012 00:55:11 -0400

There will be days,

you know,

when you’re not happy to be with me

and you’re going to have to stay by my side anyway.

That’s not a threat—

it’s a promise

that I’m going to do the same.

We’re not the same as each other at all,

and I’m thinking that’s what makes us different,

special, more likely to see the beauty in each other,

more likely to see contrast

while

I still admire the way the sunlight falls on your face

you still admire the way my hair swirls in the wind

and wish it wasn’t getting in your ear

while

I still admire the way you never stop feeling a beat

and you admire my mind’s ability to be silent.

please don’t stop putting your arms around me

and I will remember to give you some space.

there will be days when you can’t breathe

and I’m going to try to find you some oxygen

there will be days when you can’t smile

and I’m going to try to find you some joy

there will be days when you can’t speak

and I’m going to try to help you get your voice back

there are scarcely days

when I don’t admire

the way your skin looks with mine,

the reaching I feel when your eyes are in mine

there are days when I don’t like you.

there are days when I know you don’t like me.

there are not days when I don’t love you.

I miss the stars

Sat, 02 Jun 2012 00:50:31 -0400

—and they’re even out tonight.

I miss the open fields and emptiness I feel in the Midwest,

I miss Europe and I miss my sister.

trying to sleep & instead sweating in my sheets,

moths are chirping & hitting their wings against the ceiling.

the citronella candle is making dancing waves on the walls

so that the whole room feels like a giant, burning mosquito-luring presence.

pale blue atlas club's sunday review: repost

Wed, 30 May 2012 10:19:06 -0400

DADA, Robin Goodfellow, and a list of rules

Dear Scooby-doo
where are you?
we have a lot
on our minds
and here’s a list of rules.
line them up like little soldiers.

Always leave when the lights are out-
If you will do it for them, you will do it to them-
Never drink with your shirt off-
If you love it let it go-
If you can justify doing something, don’t ever be ashamed of doing it-
If you can’t justify doing something, don’t do it-
People are important-
Don’t lie-
Nothing is about winning-
Don’t get caught-
Don’t let affection’s infinite divisibility get you down-
Don’t settle-
It isn’t always bad to be forgotten-
Don’t let fear hold you back-
Don’t boast-
If you’re in a wedding, go-
Sorry means you won’t do it again-
You don’t have to do anything-

If someone talks, listen-
There is no such thing as age-
You can’t be mad at someone for telling the truth-
It takes too hands to clap-
Complaining is not allowed-
Get consent-
Don’t make assumptions-
If you want to be alone, you probably should be-
Fear is a bad reason to do anything-
if you want to known, ask-
Speak softly-
Don’t flirt- [crossed out]
Don’t kill yourself-
Don’t take yourself too seriously-
Life is short, fight-
Don’t do anything you’ll forget-
Always stand up to shake hands-

erik riley

emma

Mon, 12 Mar 2012 19:59:02 -0400

she was the gloss-eyed stare of all you can remember not smiling to

not because you hated her

but because she knew you didn’t

and still wouldn’t smile

she loved people she could not tell

and cared for people—she could not say why

when their hearts came down to it

they weren’t around.

she enjoyed being predictable

but her predictability was only

as typical as she wanted it to be.

She’d glide over your vulnerability any day

but still be there when your heart is asking.

consistently arguable,

reliably present,

a pliable heart but she’d never let you know.

he tells me,

Mon, 12 Mar 2012 19:57:43 -0400

“girl, I know you need the sunshine.”

and I tell him, “I need it more than you know.”

we are becoming each other’s arms

so we can step out of ourselves

for once.

I tell him, “You know, you want me to be just like you.”

“You’re right,” he says,

“Now tell me what you want. What do you want?”

but I can’t really say, and I haven’t thought about it in so long

that I’m not sure I know.

“I want recognition, that’s really what I want,” he’s saying.

He thinks he’s boring, that he has nothing to give.

I tell him he’s the most unique and interesting person I know.

there aren’t any reasons

Mon, 12 Mar 2012 19:56:41 -0400

for feeling better or feeling worse

than your inclinations are telling you.

you could probably open the blinds,

let a little sunlight in.

you could probably mildly say my name,

and hello as soon as I walk through the door.

but there are not important reasons to do these things

& just as you learn to do them

I can learn to live without them.

walk through the grassy sunlight and feel mud gush

beneath boots

and know by the birds that it is morning

then come back to night,

blankets strewn across the floor,

and the stagnant stench of not knowing at all

what to say.

The Descent of Winter

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 11:22:02 -0500

“This is the sadness of the sea -

waves like words, all broken -

a sameness of lifting and falling mood.”

-William Carlos Williams

prophetsofthewild: Happy Valentines Day baby, Special thanks to...

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 22:51:39 -0500

prophetsofthewild:

Happy Valentines Day baby,

Special thanks to Liz Lawrensen for shooting this for me.

"You were born inside of a raindrop I watched you falling to your death And the sun, well she could..."

Sat, 11 Feb 2012 11:37:38 -0500

“

You were born inside of a raindrop
I watched you falling to your death
And the sun, well she could not save you
She’d fallen down too, now the streets are wet

Body of water
Toxic and timeless
Atlantic ocean
New York skyline
I always get lost
When I leave the village
So I couldn’t come meet you
In Brooklyn last night

But I sing glory from my lowest
And I will say peace to the people I meet
While the world waits for an explosion
That instant of life
That wipes the slate clean

So don’t be fooled
No don’t get lied to
Love was always cruel

And don’t act strange
Don’t be a stranger
It happened to me, now it’s happening to you

But if you take that train under water then we could talk it through

Well if I could tame
All of my desires
Wait out the weather that howls in my brain
Because it seems
That it’s always changing
The winds indecision
The sorrowful rain

Yeah, I was a postcard
I was a record
I was a camera
Until I went blind

And now I’m riding
All over this island
Looking for something
To open my eyes

But I still sing glory from my high rise
And I will say thanks if you’re pouring my drinks
While the world waits for an explosion
That moment in time, when we’ll be set free

So don’t stay mad
Just let some time pass
And in the morning you’ll wake feeling new

And if I don’t come back
I mean if I get side tracked
It’s only cause I wanted to

I’m keeping up with the moon on an all night avenue

”

- Bright Eyes Train Under Water

sunshine.

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 16:15:33 -0500

sunshine.

"As in water face reflects face, So the heart of man reflects man."

Sat, 14 Jan 2012 11:31:55 -0500

“As in water face reflects face, So the heart of man reflects man.”

- Proverbs 27:19 NASB (via encourageous)

grace has kept us safe thus far

Wed, 04 Jan 2012 10:59:26 -0500

and grace will lead us home.

ARE YOU

Mon, 02 Jan 2012 10:16:58 -0500

an aesthetic

an image

a predictable product

a categorized copycat

a collection of filtered photographs

OR A HUMAN BEING?

Photo

Sat, 31 Dec 2011 11:07:35 -0500

"And if we get beaten by this winter, If we get strangled by regret, just Let our love of life and..."

Sat, 31 Dec 2011 04:28:20 -0500

“

And if we get beaten by this winter,
If we get strangled by regret, just
Let our love of life and tension
Gasp in sweet and stuttered breaths, and
Have them lay us in a basement,
Smash some bottles on the ground, and
Say we never knew the difference between the feeling and the sound.

Remember not our faulty pieces,
Remember not our rusted parts,
It’s not the petty imperfections that define us but
The way we hold our hearts,
And the way we hold our heads,
I hope they write your names beside mine on my gravestone when I’m dead.
And when we’re dead let our voices carry on
To find a better song.
To find a better song and sing along.

”

- La Dispute- nine, from Here, Hear. III

Photo

Thu, 29 Dec 2011 03:39:56 -0500